January has been a journey. As it turned out, saying “yes” was the easy part. But saying “yes” to this thing, meant I had to say “no” to other things. For the past week, I wrestled with God, I tried negotiating what I would sacrifice, but he wanted it all.
I ended last year so excited for the strides I was making in my business. I was finally connected to the right people, and it seemed everything that I had been working toward was finally going to fall into place. Then January 1, 2018 around 6 am, God reminded me that he called me to something else. As the month went on, it became increasingly clear that I had to let go of this dream of mine. So in a small step of obedience, I shut down my Facebook business page. That was easy! After all, Facebook algorithms were making it increasingly difficult for anyone to see what I posted there anyway.
Then, God had me look at my web site. He wanted me to let go of my business. I removed the option for taking consultations. That’s not too bad. I wasn’t getting many appointments yet anyway. Done! And, what about your products and affiliates? I could hear the Holy Spirit whisper. What’s wrong with that? It’s passive income. I don’t even have to do anything. But I knew He wanted that too. And reluctantly, I removed those as well. There’s still one more thing. My heart ached at the thought. Not yet, Lord. I can’t yet.
The truth is, He has been trying to get me to let go of this one thing for two years. TWO YEARS! It would have been easy to do it two years ago, when I found out I was pregnant with my youngest. I had an easy “out”. He told me again a year later (during my October 2016 social media fast) to let it go. I kinda did, but not really. I stopped “working” my MLM business for a few months, but then I tried to start it up again. I knew God told me to give it up. Here’s what I did. I quit my MLM business, and launched my own fitness coaching business. God must have been looking at me, shaking his head. I am so thankful for His patience!
Sometimes, as a good parent does, God let’s us try our own way for a while. I did. The last 6-7 months were so frustrating and stressful, because I was trying to make something work, pouring effort and now, money, into this thing that God had already said “no” to. I started to move away from fitness to focus on other things, but over the course of the last 3 years, coaching these women made me feel like I had a purpose. Having moved to another country, losing my connections and family, being a part of this group made me feel less alone. Helping them made me feel like I was doing something good. So I thought, I’ll just keep this small group, because I need them. God told me that if I don’t let go of this thing, then He can’t bring me to the next thing.
So yesterday, I let it go. I still can’t think about it without tears. The truth is I just feel empty. Empty. Exactly. Now, you are ready for what I have for you.
Now you are all caught up. I have no idea what is ahead, but I’m choosing to move in obedience, wherever it leads. That is called faith. Welcome to my journey.